Its time for a reality check.
The last week or so has not been good for me. I've been very lonely. And i've felt very ... defenseless? I'm not sure what word I should use.
I've been noticing myself noticing other men fairly often this past week. I did so well for such a long time. It was ignorant bliss. Now I really need to sit down and deal with this and I don't know how. Is this going to go away? I hope so. I don't want to be walking down the street forty years from now going "Tony, don't look at him. You know you want to but don't." And then I probably will.
Such has been my last week. Seeing a cute guy on the airpane and going "Don't look at him. You shouldn't look at him." And then I steal a glance.
What the heck is my problem? Is this going to go away? Am I going to survive it?
Their is a difference between obstacles and barriers. Obstacles you should and hopefully will get over. Barriers are meant to keep you from doing so.
Which one is this last week made up of?
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1 comment:
For those of us who have struggled with SSA, there is a fine line between lust and healthy appreciation of male beauty, and between wanting someone out of our brokenness and just the normal healthy need to connect and build relationship. As we grow in our own self-confidence and mature in or ability to communicate to others without ulterior lust, the draw to certain individuals becomes less problematic. The urge to look may always linger, but it's the obsessing about it that can diminish as we grow in other ways.
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