I Did This To Myself

I shouldn't feel bad about this. I shouldn't. This is the path that I chose. This is the dream I wanted to pursue. So why am I upset? What am I discouraged? Why do I feel like a failure?

My friends from high school all graduated college this year. I would have graduated college this year. But college wasn't on my agenda. I wanted two things when I left high school. I wanted to get famous. And I wanted to become a flight attendant.

After several failed attempts at various colleges/universities ... I finally dropped out, picked up and moved to Arizona, and began working on getting a job as a flight attendant. I had dreamt of doing it since I was four years old. I grew up on airplanes, and I wanted to work on them. And airlines do not require a college degree to become a flight attendant.

At age 20 I was hired by my first airline (will this be my last? I have no idea...) Their I was. Twenty. And I had my dream job. Now what?

Here I am two years later. I love my job (on most days...). But their is no money in the airline industry. I am forever working a second job. I don't know if I will ever be able to support myself, let alone a wife and family on this salary. And it is truly discouraging.

Seeing my friends graduate from college and get "real jobs" is also pretty hard to handle. Teachers. Accountants. Nurses. Physical therapists.

And then there is me. College drop out. Flight attendant. Financial disaster.

Inadequate. Again.